Help wanted

I've been injured. The SI joint issue morphed into a Hoffa's pad impingement (the fat behind me knee cap was pinched). I couldn't run the marathon I had planned. It's not so bad, I got to start all kinds of other activities I can now ignore (like aquajogging). I also discovered that I'm not just someone who is fond of activity. I genuinely like running. I look forward to it. Or I may just look forward to being done with it. Either way.

I've been running a few months now. Even getting regular at it. And cross training regularly too! I know. Good job G, right? Wait a tic.
I irritated my plantar fascia on one side and the abductor on the opposite side of the foot. I can't run for a week. Contrary to the obvious reaction, I think this is good thing. You see, I have never been able to pronounce the name of this muscle (or is it a tendon?) before. Now, I'll get all sorts of practice.

Friend: Howz the training going?

G: It was going well but I'm not running this week.

Friend: What's going on?

G: I injured my plantar fascia (and some other muscle)

See? Serendipitous is what I call it.
But I digress. After a few days of some pain, today was the first day I have been able to walk around comfortably. So of course, my first thought is:

I should go for a run!

That way I could test out whether I am actually feeling good or just imagining it. That thought is then followed by:

So if I run today, then I could keep my 12 mile run planned for saturday

These thoughts have led me to conclude that I need an injury sponsor. So here's the ad I plan to post. Reply if you meet the requirements:

Needed, an injury sponsor to help a runner. This runner has been injured several times and tends to run on healing injuries to 'test' them out. She also likes to use logic that can be (generously) referred to as frightening flights of fancy.
Must be available for phone calls or hot chocolate or bourbon at odd times of the day (i.e. lunch or midnight). Must not be the runner's running buddy (without meaning to, they only encourage her). Must not be runner's spouse (he only makes loud sighs of annoyance and resignation). Must be able to sound simultaneously sympathetic and authoritative. Must not yell no matter how frustrated.

I think I got it all.